qwantz: moustaches

Ryan (

qwantz) wrote,
@ 2007-12-31 14:42:00

Current music:

Al Green - Love And Happiness

moustaches
Like most men of my age and disposition, I look upon a lapse in shaving as an opportunity for ridiculous facial hair: grow it out some, and then, when you do shave, shave it into something memorable. This strategy has never failed me in the past. GUYS. It failed me yesterday.

I shaved my face into the classic "math teacher moustache", a thick line of hair over the upper lip. I didn't do anything wrong and I didn't do anything I hadn't done before. It should have been hilarious, but it's not. It's awful. I look terrible and if you laugh you stifle it because somehow, this moustache says, "wait, he might be serious". I don't get it.

I'm going to shave it off tonight and hope that next time it goes better. Are my facial-hair days behind me? Can I somehow no longer pull off the "I have this moustache because it was more fun than shaving it" aesthetic?

Where did it all go wrong?

(75 comments) - (Post a new comment)

	adg 2007-12-31 07:45 pm UTC (link)
	My New Years wish is that you post a photo before it leaves this earth forever (Reply to this) (Thread)

	SECONDED glenchy 2007-12-31 07:46 pm UTC (link)
	YES PLZ (Reply to this) (Parent)

	glenchy 2007-12-31 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	Ryan I am right there with you. In solidarity: http://glench.com/lightwrite/033-mustache.jpg (done with long exposure+flashlight) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	glenchy 2007-12-31 07:53 pm UTC (link)
	On that note, here is something for your nightmares: http://glench.com/lightwrite/031-squid.jpg (Reply to this) (Parent)

	qwilman 2007-12-31 07:53 pm UTC (link)
	My friend Bob came home from his Physics major at ISU with a total physics beard but he's one of those cuddle bear types that can pull it off. I tried to grow a goatee since I sorta look like Gordon Freeman with my hair dyed but I can't get my mustache to touch my beard. (Reply to this)

	no idea what you're talking about fatherbingo 2007-12-31 07:58 pm UTC (link)
	(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: no idea what you're talking about glenchy 2007-12-31 08:01 pm UTC (link)
	O_O THAT IS AMAZING (Reply to this) (Parent)

	schoolhouserock 2007-12-31 08:09 pm UTC (link)
	this situation cannot be properly evaluated without PIX! also, did i ever tell you that you kind of inspired the final version of my final for two of my classes in grad school? true story (Reply to this) (Thread)

	qwantz 2007-12-31 08:12 pm UTC (link)
	That's really cool! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	I did this a while back. :) mattg 2007-12-31 08:20 pm UTC (link)
	Before Racing Stripes? The Morgan Spurlock The Colin Ferrell / Miami Vice Soul Patch All gone! Shave and a haircut... two bits! (Reply to this)

	stokerbramwell 2007-12-31 08:23 pm UTC (link)
	Speaking as one who loathes shaving and doesn't bother with it, I can't say that I can fully relate! (Reply to this)

	bigbadbutch88 2007-12-31 08:26 pm UTC (link)
	Ryan I am a lady and even though I'm not into dudes but I'm totally into facial hair. It sure looks like fun to be able to shave stuff above the waist that people can see daily. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	qwantz 2007-12-31 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	You can shave a moustache into your leg hair (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	monkey_kong 2007-12-31 08:31 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry to say it looks very porn star-ish. Maybe it just needs to grow out some more. That's what I'm thinking. Long and cartoony! Don't give up! Give it a little more time to grow. It just hasn't fully matured. May I also recommend mutton chops? Mutton chops are comical AND sexy. Win/win! (Reply to this)

	haha calndrhngitself 2007-12-31 08:48 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not looking forward to the day when facial hair irony dies. Not shaving or shaving strange patterns and polygons has always been one of my passive aggressive rebellions in the workplace. (Reply to this)

	smelly_cat_face 2007-12-31 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	I am having a mustache growing competition with a friend. It is good times. (Reply to this)

	pyromog 2007-12-31 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	The picture up there is totally bad-assed, and also I seem to remember you having a totally bitchin' Fu Manchu at one point? In conclusion, just because this moustache didn't work doesn't mean you aren't some sort of moustache-master. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS (Reply to this) (Thread)

	barbiederug 2008-07-16 01:09 am UTC (link)
	Tags: Dreamers , Dreams , Follow Your Dreams , Never Give Up , Never Give Up On Your Dream's Posted on 21 June by Nick Throlson Comments: 2 Category: Uncategorized 2 Responses to “Never Give Up On Your Dream’s” By narendra. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	pot80 2007-12-31 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	No more facial hair!!! Clean-shaven is the way to go for the next decade. Be ahead of the curve! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	THIS IS PATENT MALARKY demamas 2007-12-31 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	IF THE FUTURE DOES NOT CONTAIN ELEGANTLY GROOMED SIDEBURNS THEN I WOULD PREFER TO LIVE IN THE PAST (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	blackxmage 2007-12-31 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	:-\|[ I am expressing seriousness via mustache. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	lafinjack 2008-01-01 02:31 am UTC (link)
	(Reply to this) (Parent)

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	monsterssssssss 2007-12-31 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	if it makes you feel any better, my friend got mutton chops and it was just as hilarious as it should have been. Everyone thinks he's gay too, so he started calling them "muffin chops". in hindsight, i don't know why that would make you feel any better. (Reply to this)

	jl_williams 2007-12-31 10:56 pm UTC (link)
	I do not look good with a moustache. GOATEE FOR THE WIN (Reply to this) (Thread)

	westacular 2008-01-02 06:22 pm UTC (link)
	I do not like shaving and have only sparse cheek-hair and no sideburning ability GOATEE FOR THE WIN (BY DEFAULT). (Reply to this) (Parent)

	RYAN! I GREW A GOATEE! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? resk 2007-12-31 10:57 pm UTC (link)
	I'M ON THE LEFT! (Reply to this)

	lainiest 2007-12-31 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	ryan north i feel that this was only one mistake to add to your vast repository of life's lessons it was a learning experience!! your mustache will rise again (Reply to this)

	qwantz 2007-12-31 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	I think this is a very salient explanation. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	fancycwabs 2008-01-01 12:15 am UTC (link)
	There's really nothing like a mildly theatrical disposition to allow all sorts of mustaches: I feel your choices may not be bold enough to make a proper statement. (Reply to this)

	lafinjack 2008-01-01 02:33 am UTC (link)
	http://mudhead.uottawa.ca/~pete/beard.html (Reply to this)

	poorsod 2008-01-01 09:19 am UTC (link)
	we convinced my dad to try out a beard before he goes back to work for the new year, because he has never had one before. being who i am i quickly turned it into a waepon against it. he shaved it this morning :( (Reply to this)

	sevenblades 2008-01-01 02:06 pm UTC (link)
	My opinion has always been to prefer clean-shaven Ryan North. I first saw facial hair Ryan at Canzine, and I was distressed. But both Ryans are still pretty awesome. I only recomend mutton chops. Because they're pretty awesome. (Reply to this)