That is right well one of the best stories, much less toaster story, that I have heard in a loooong time. wow!
Damn for a moment I thought that was a story about an actual solid gold toaster. Once again I've been let down. :P
2007-08-17 04:55 pm (UTC)
Years and years ago, I had just started University and had moved into a duplex nearby in the city. The previous tenants had left behind an old toaster. I had brought my own. What does one do with two toasters?
One day, a friend of mine had a brilliant idea. He took the toaster that I didn't use apart, fiddled a bit with the lever spring mechanism, and put it back together.
That day, I became the proud owner of a toaster that, when toasting was complete, would fling toast three feet into the air.
2007-08-17 05:34 pm (UTC)
i tell this story to people when we are drinking, and i want to demonstrate what a gomer i am.
When we treat others like we want to be treated, repeat business is a given. Also, a happy client is the best means of advertisement.
When I was at university, our campus meal hall had one of those industrial toasters with the little conveyor belts inside. One day, someone's bagel got stuck at the back of the conveyor, so instead of falling out into the little tray, it just sat there and caught on fire.
No less than 5 people walked past it, noted the pretty light show, went "Huh, a flaming toaster," and kept walking. Eventually someone thought to tell one of the employees, but there was still a sizable crowd gathered before anyone thought to, you know, pull the plug or anything.
2008-03-29 11:54 pm (UTC)
That happened quite a bit at my university too, especially when some douche decided to make a bagel sandwich and wanted to melt the cheese... in the conveyer belt toaster. The cafeteria employees hated those people. Though, on the plus side, the toaster spat fire and looked kinda awesome sometimes.
2007-08-17 06:00 pm (UTC)
One problem I had with a former roommate involved a toaster.
It was an older toaster, but really worked fine other than it would not automatically stop. Sometimes, this would burn the toast, but when that happened, I'd simply stop it, throw out the toast, and open the windows. Whatever.
I had told my roommate all about this.
But for whatever reason, the very first time she burned toast, she decided the best solution was to throw the whole thing (toaster and toast alike) out the backdoor into the snow.
Sounds like a roommate who is having trouble adjusting to Not Living At Home!
I really like that story! Especially the phrase "hugging terms" which I will now frequently use!
And then it’s awkward again, because after that experience, I kind of feel like we are on hugging terms, but that can’t possibly be right, can it.
The settings on this infamous toaster seem similar to my Hello Kitty one (yeah, with the face of HK seared into every piece of toast, but not Pop Tart, that goes into it). I have to toast everything at practically zero, lest I end up with charcoal bread...and HK's ubiquitous, mouthless face glaring at me.
Of course, should anything happen to my toaster, I doubt my story would be as ingenious as this one ^_^; Thanks for sharing!
Mine's just the opposite (minus HK...). It has to be cranked all the way up to what it implies to be doom-levels of toasting to get the perfect golden brown. But, really, what can you expect for $8 (new)?
I have a toaster that puts a imprint of a dinosaur on my toast.
It is the coolest toaster ever.
to be honest i don't normally read your posts but...
off-the-wall toaster stories? you've piqued my interest.
i believe more unforgiving appliance stories are due in the future!
Omigosh, that story is AWESOME♥ XDDD It needs to be shouted to the world for all to enjoy! It totally brightened my weekend. ^^
I think we can all agree that hijinks stories are The Best Stories.
(Runners-up are shenanigans, tomfoolery, and escapades stories.)
Nice. I especially liked the Niagra Falls part.
I also have a toaster that is very powerful. "1" makes good toast, "2" makes coal and the scale goes up to 12. I guess it's due to German efficiency; the only text on the toaster is "made in East Germany". Come to think of it, I have no idea where I got the toaster from, just that I've owned it for as long as I've lived on my own.
Today I learned that every toaster story has happened At University.
I think we could all benefit if some investigative journalists looked into this apparent link between University and Interesting Toaster Stories. And maybe Fox can somehow capitalize on it with a Real World + University + Toaster cocktail.
Might be a good idea?
I think the correlation between toaster stories and universities is why toasters are banned at my school.
To add to the tales of toast-hurling toasters mentioned above, when I was a teenager I would often stay at the home of a much older friend. She had a toaster that she salvaged from her house after Hurricane Andrew flattened her home. Anyway the toaster was never quite right after that. It was seriously spring-loaded. You would load the bread, depress the lever, and wait, and then- the toaster would eject the bread, toasted to a healthy golden brown, and send it sailing about three or four feet into the air.
A favorite game of ours at breakfast time was aiming the toaster at the table and trying to land our breakfasts on our plates. It should be noted that toast is more areodynamic than a bagel, and that Pop-Tarts have a tendency to explode upon impact. You only need one or two Frosted Cherry burns before this lesson is learned.
I still think of that toaster every time my recently-purchased toaster acts exactly how a toaster is supposed to act. Sigh...
I have a newfound appreciation for toasters now.
So, like, one time, I used a toaster.
2007-09-24 07:54 am (UTC)
Hopefully not at band camp.
2008-03-26 01:58 pm (UTC)
they should make toasters where you can tune the angle it sits at, and the spring tension:
it'd be like that "scorched earth" game.. but for breakfast.
I don’t have a toaster story, but 1 a.m. fire alarms at my university were a fabulous way to find out who was sleeping with whom. I collected a lifetime’s worth of sheepish looks that year.
XDDDD That story made me laugh in a way that a sick person with a queasy stomach should never laugh. So, thanks, and if I throw up you're getting the laundry bill. ;)
A full scale evacuation of a building caused by a toaster? That is a story of excellence to keep me warm at night. Or perhaps I should buy a toaster myself.
there was no lever, so no way to pull the toast out of
the wretched machine, other than to unplug it, twiddle
the knob, and flick it the bird.
Wow-- you flipped off a toaster? Reminds me of this Dinosaur comic.
This is indeed the greatest toaster story I have ever read.